I have been unhappy with my slow progress, and I think a lot of it has to do with the exceptions I give myself instead of sticking to my diet more stringently. Well, they say that the fastest way to get from Point A to Point B is a straight line. They also say that abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym. So from now on, I have decided that I will give up booze until I can see abs. (Go from abs to booze. Because I doubt I will ever get from booze to abs.)
A strange thing I have noticed with some of the diet plans I have researched is that almost all of them say, “Don’t drink any calories.” And then several of them go on say that drinking alcohol is OK. I assume that the creators of these plans do not want to scare away any potential dieters by saying that alcohol is not allowed, so they bank on their plan being able to account for an occasional night of debauchery. This website exists purely to tell people how to get drunk on the fewest calories possible. My problem is that the more I drink, the more I drink. And when my body has finally had
enough too much, I try to fix things by having way too much food to soak it up.
Batman does not drink, because it reduces his willpower, which is basically his only superpower. (I hear Bruce Wayne’s favorite drink is a whiskey ginger, without the whiskey.) So I am going to take a page from his book, at least until I can pull this off:
Next time you see me at a social gathering, please:
- Check if my drink is a diet virgin Cuba Libre.
- Even if I say it is, please check that no one slipped me a Mickey.
- If you do discover alcohol, please check for abs.
Your help in enforcing my policy is greatly appreciated.