A Cloud of Batmen

A friend of mine linked a very interesting article last night. I highly recommend that you read the full thing, but the gist is that the American lifestyle is designed to promote consumerism at the expense of health and happiness – we work long hours and then spend more on convenience and instant gratification in order to “maximize” our free time.

Clearly, a lot of us should reconsider our time management choices. As I alluded to before, I wonder how Batman handles the double life, since it means twice the demands on his time, energy, and money. (At least that last issue is not much of a concern for him.) That is why I am particularly interested in today’s Daily Post,

“Clone Wars – If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?”

Batmen

Cloning seems like a very easy way to get more done each day. Plus imagining an army of Batmen is pretty cool! Before I can fully answer the prompt, though, I have a few questions that need to be cleared up.

First, will this cost me anything? If the ability to mass-produce clones existed, imagine how much it could sell for. The corporations mentioned in that original article would be all over it, marketing it to us as the ultimate convenience! It would probably cost more than I can afford. Most likely, I would have to do some sort of deal with the Devil. My eternal soul, you say? Eh, I am not really using it anyways… let me think about it.

Second, how many clones can I get? Again, assuming this me buying for a flat rate. I only have one soul to spend, after all. One clone doubles my time and that is very nice, but the more clones I could get away with, the harder I would think about making the deal. Ideally, what I would want is not to buy a clone but the ability to clone myself on an as-needed basis.

And finally, and most importantly, what type of cloning technology are we talking about?

  • Are we working from current scientific limitations? That would be cloning a single cell and growing it; something along the lines of Professor Farmsworth making Cubert. If this is the case, no thanks! Taking care of a baby is the opposite of added convenience, plus I would need a surrogate mother to carry my clone to term to even get to that point.
  • Or is it possible to have “adult” clones? This would be more like The Island (or The Simpsons). This would be the baseline for acceptance. I would have a few follow-up questions, such as if I could stop the clone age at any point (18-year-old organs are better than 30-year-old ones), but I would think long and hard about taking the deal at this level.
  • Or finally, it is some sort of magical ability similar to Naruto’s Shadow Clones? This is very similar to Homer’s cloning ability but with one key difference – when shadow clones disperse, their experiences are retained by the original. If this is ever offered to me, I would snap it up in a heartbeat!

The shadow clone ability is amazing! Besides the obvious advantages it gives in battle (something that Batman is always thinking about), think of the practical day-to-day uses. Batman could train, study, investigate, and put the smackdown on bad guys all at the same time! He would not even need Batman, Inc., as he could send copies of himself to every city in the world!

Consequences of Return of Bruce Wayne

If I personally had the shadow clone ability, I would use it roughly the same way. Have one clone working so I can afford more Bat-gear, one training so I can get in shape faster, one studying so I can keep my mind sharp, and one goofing off so I can stay relaxed. Then regroup at home and go to sleep as the original after a highly productive day.

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